happy and smiling and crying

Oh, I am sooooooooo happy!!!! I mean, awards mean really nothing to me... just this one does!! Because this one is some kind of official thank you from many people... saying that I gave them something and that they appreciate the time I spent in Czech Republic working with them. Many other people would have deserved such an award and just to choose one single name would have been impossible for me!! I am so grateful!! The last year was a really tough one for me... just now in this moment I feel that I made the right choice to stay and to face the worst weeks in my life!! It is just such a shame that I was not at the conference!! I would have loved to show everybody how happy they made me!! I miss them so much now!! It’s terrible!! Guys, when can we meet again?!? Let’s turn back the time for some weeks!! I would focus on all the nice things this time!!

in Chemnitz

So what now???... Yesterday at 12:06 it finally happened... leaving Pilsen... leaving my friends, my life, my LCP term.. everything behind... that pain in my heart was really strong!! there just for a moment - but I felt it!! Just I couldnt stop the train! so bit by bit I was moving towards my new future... or my old life. and now that I am here it is as if Czech Republic never existed!! like in a dream! Or is Chemnitz the dream and Pilsen not??

But still I dont know what to think about all the things that I experienced during the last 13 months!! I love reflecting!! Really!! A lot!! The thing I appreciate the most about my time in AIESEC!! But in this case it makes me scared!! Of the uncertain and of finding out how many things have changed inside of me!! I lost my enthusiasm, even my vision!! The experience as a whole was maybe too strong for me! or maybe it was exactly what I was supposed to go through... I dont know now...

On Monday I will be a 'normal' student again!! Actually I am looking forward to that!! Even to the exams!! ... strange... but it feels great!!